Finally: We Came

well, that's not at all suggestive, Line. Or, maybe that's just because I have a horribly twisted mind. Eh, probably. So, it;s a new year, new people, the same old situation. But, we can't complain, as it never fails to entertain. And taking into consideration how long it's been since the last time we did this, I'm assuming it'll be packed with all that good bad stuff that goes down around here.
-Nik

So, major changes of this year: Brazilians, drama, Nik has an asian boyfriend, and more drama. Waitwhat?!?! WHO WAS IT WHO LIKED THE ASIANS?!?! Me... Well, considering we're the same person, I guess it's understandable. On another note, how is it fair that Nik gets the awesome Brazilian for a roommate, and I get the creepy Chinese chick. I don't find that fair. At all. BTW gray pleather, topped with gray cotton, strapped all together with gray wool is never, and never will be a good look.
-Line

Hm, I don't think they hear about my adventures over summer break.
1. The 22-year-old lifeguard who I dumped because he wouldn't stop calling me "Princess", etc.
2. The crazy chinese (Line says "Chinaman") who wanted to "shove a mace through my face" after I broke up with him because he was psycho-obsessive (L-bomb, day 2)
3. The Fresh-off-the-rez native, who I dumped because he kept getting high and drunk as fuck every day and phoning me at three in the morning (L-bomb week 2)

And, for one, someone who I'm hoping might actually work. But it's still a matter of letting his sister come out with us. Yeah, so about Line's roommate, after one of the girls had a peculiar incident with a large amount of advil and ridiculous nudist rebel careless roommate, KD's parents wanted her to get a new roommate.
Doesn't really shock me.
So, after the CM's asking me whether or not me and my roommate would break up our awesome pairing, dumbass Line (A.K.A. sucker for punishment) volunteers to room with JZ.
Well, the shit hit the fan then. Let's just say since I have a pretty damn baller brazillian roommate, Line's gonna be hanging out in my room a lot. and maybe helping with the good old cold spoon treatment, as a result of last night.
-Nik

At least it's not as big as the other one... But I'm still probably gonna die. I can see why KD found herself intimate with a bottle of pills. So, I just realized that it's almost our anniversary. We've almost been together for a year :) How romantic. Not really. So this year is gonna rape me. From my roommate to my courses to distracting brazilians who want me to sing about sucking dick. Oh, and the distracting germans who look like Dr. Who. I'm just thoroughly, fucked this year.
-Line

Oh yea, Line's quite the erotic singer. In addition to weird shit that's happened this year, there's also the new Nik and Line. Not the blog, but the people. it's really weird. OH HEY MAN, I'm not the one in SY that's going to get lesbian jokes now! I'm so excited, I'm no longer the resident lesbieber. Well, ou approaching anniversary calls for inebriated blogging, in my opinion. that post is going to be messier than a night at the jersey shore, christ. Speaking of white trash, Hallowe'en at our school was quite the gong show. All I have to say is THANKS A LOT M. Night Shaymalan, thanks for giving every girl of relatively easy virtue to win awards for running around in nothing but a thin layer of blue polyester and a loincloth.
AND IT WASN'T EVEN A WHOLE LOINCLOTH.
I COULD SEE THEIR SMURFY-HUED ASSES.
-Nik

So, apparently I'm this dudes, chola haila hood rat. Which for those who don't know basically means, I'm this ghetto bitch who sleeps with all of the hood. Compared to what he thinks, it's not as flattering. So, I don't know if it's the fact that there are more this year, or if I've just grown up, but I FUCKING HATE LB'S! They're all, I'm a baller, but really, they're not. On yet another note, how is it that the starving black child, PT can come to our school all the way up in Canada? I don't know, and I really want to ask the Ni-- dude. I watched Mulan today. It was fricking amazing. I can't wait until I watch it again :) I want to marry Shang.
-Line

So, we're currently looking through all the past blog entries, oh my god you're retarded for reading this. Mind you, we're the fuckheads for thinking of it, and then writing it down. So, I have to agree with you on the LBs pretending to be baller thing, especially since my cradle-robbing (quote: my dad) had given me the lovely opportunity to witness this first-hand. I'm currently being stared down by a fricking scary brazillian. Well, it was only scary until he started shaking his invisible boobs at us.
-Nik

And his ass. Don't forget the ass. OHHHHH PRETTY MEXICAN! I don't even know. I'm going insane. So now, the mexicans think I'm weird. Like this one kid always comes up to me and shows me the size of his dick. But that may have been because i said he had a small one. Seeing as that's like the only thing that I can say in spanish.

Anways, on a closing note:

A word from a Brazilian:

BOOB

'sup, dick likkins?

So, basically, we're assholes, because we haven't blogged in a really long time. To further prove that I am an asshole, when Line fell asleep during Rocky Horror Picture Show last night, I drew a dick on her forehead in eyeliner.

L - "You watch out, [for drawing the dick], next time it'll be in permanent marker."

N - "You cock."

L - "No, you'll be the cock."

-Nik

So last night, Nik and I went on a bikeride. The first one in a LONNNNNG time. There was the indefinite tire wobble that could lead you into the bushes where the freaking fuzzy caterpillers would eat you or the road where a Honda civic would come and run us over.

So why, at ten o'clock at night, were we riding our bikes through the 'hood?

Nik slept through dinner and decided to get Mcdicks.

Then we went to Macs and stored up on candy, cheese poopers, and slushies.

And the angry brown guy there gave us 15 free candies :D

- Line

Ah, the angry brown guy. He's always so fricking emo. More than us.
Psh, he had no reason to be emo, he wasn't the one who went on National Lampoon's fucken bike ride. Shit, that trip made me never want to be safe about bike rides ever again

1) When attempting to use the key to lock the bikes, I broke the fucking lanyard.

2) Then, when attempting to do up my helmet, I broke the fucking clasp.

3) Then, Line almost hit a telephone pole.

4) Then, Line's seat fucking came off.

5) THEN, I FUCKING DROVE OVER MY FUCKING MCDONALDS.

-Nik.

What an amazing night. So speaking of amazing nights... in bed. A common passtime of late (for us anyway) has been chat roulette. So between the wankers and the shirtless people, there tend to be a few trolls and downright nice guys. So Nik had a bright idea (for once). How about dressing me up as a scene kid and freaking out all the idiots on Chat Roulette?

Sure why not.

In the end, I had about 4 inches of volume added to my hair, a couple pounds of black makeup, a pink bow, and you know what? Chat Roulette wouldn't even work.

-Line

I was truly proud of my styling skills, I thought she quite looked the part, it's really a shame the people of chatroulette didn't get to see it. I'd do it again, but I don't think Line would be up for another hair-torture session followed by two hours in the shower and a half a bottle of shampoo and conditioner trying to get the backcombing out.

The end of the year is great, though. We have free time to do all this shit, and no homework, and no classes. But, at the price of fricking FINAL AND PROVINCIAL EXAMS.

Holy shit-dick, fuck our lives. Questions about things we never learned, conveniently blanking out on the problems you studied really fricking hard on (lol) so that you wouldn't forget them.
-Nik

Nik has nothing to complain about. Three finals, and one provincial. I have four finals, and three provincials. I will die, and while I should be studying, I'm not.

So a couple nights ago, we went to Nik's keener Mormor's house. (Grandmother...) We ate this messed up fish, and some vegetables. Then we made aebleskiver.... (butchered that) and chocolate chip cookies.

So because some of the differences between yeast here and yeast in Denmark, we put an entire jar of yeast into the aebleskiver. IT WOULD NOT DIE! I JUST KEPT COMING UP AND UP AND UP! So I stabbed it to death.

-Line

It was like the neverending fucking bowl of aebleskiver batter (sorry about the misspelling, blogger won't let me paste in the 'ae' character. (those bastards)(just kidding don't kill me)
but yeah, Line was pretty handy stabbing the batter to death. And because we fucked up the aebleskiver, we decided to make chocolate chip cookies, and then we couldn't find the fricking chocolate chips, probably because there was more than just coke in the cans we were drinking from, but we eventually found them, and then managed to cook them on the outside only.
In short, we're fucking pros.
-Nik

Pretty much.

And on a closing note, never dilute your Captain Morgon with water.

And remember; you're sexy like chocolate.

Cheese Pooper?

Hey internet, it's been a while.

So, I just managed to get baby powder AND root beer on my shirt. might as well slap some paint and mustard on here and call it a jackson pollock. Plus, I could always get LDM's help with that.

ew.

Ill admit that was a pretty bad.

Destery Quote of The Day:
"This song makes me want to open up a can of sex -- and put it on my armpit."

-Nik

So the ominous day of death... I mean hearts... is coming fast. Only 9 and a half hours left until the couples will start to jump each other.

I guess that's a bias opinion, but I really don't give a flying mongoose.

On Thursday, I did something that would change my life forever:

I stole a poster about virtue, just because it had Spock on it.

I consider myself a very bad person.

-Line

You should. stealing a Spock poster advertising virtue is most illogical, considering that vulans are like the asians of star trek. oh, for my next stunt, I will do this entire blog bind, without blind.
just kidding.
where the fuck are my glasses.

However, I WILL do the whole blog while wearing leg-warmers.
OOH.

So, Tomorrow is Valentine's day, and I don't know about you, but I am freakin' single. as always.
FML?
-Nik

I don't even know. The only good thing about tomorrow is the fact that I get to give people my Valentine's Cards, cartoon Transformers and all.

So just a slight thing that annoys me: when a fucking mob of old ladies in short shorts and spandex steals every fucking seat in Starbucks so they can discuss Lady Gaga and Bob Barker. Honestly, get a fucking house.

-Line

LOL wow. In case you didn't know, Line is crazy about starbucks. Given the opportunity, she'd probably live there.
So, I've come to the conclusion that line would be a very scary person to get blowies from. She was tilting her head down and looking up at me, and believe me it was scary.
Mind you, it was only scary until she did a faceplant into the side of the laptop.
-Nik

You know what Nik, at least I'm not the kid looking up my little pony on livejournal.

So, my newest obsession? Princess and the Frog. It is amazing. I wish I was a princess :(

Valentine's Day is a big thing at our school. All grade 12's get to skip and come class to class singing cheesy (or provocative) love songs. BEST thing though, hands down, is matchmaker. When you see the first name on your list, your heart either plummets or leaps. I guess there's also the, who the fuck is that, too. Anyway.

-Line

Yeah, mine was definitely a "Who the fuck was that" moment.

WOW. Line just got an email from fanfiction.net, and she just about fell off her chair.
watching beetlejuice and trying to convince the ex to dye his hair black again. to no avail.
oh boy, she got another email.
-Nik

You know what. You'd be excited too if you had concrete proof that you were loved.

So just a small note, Adam Lambert with blonde hair is completely disgusting.

ANOTHER THING: KV IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.

He is why people get raped. He is the reason my aunt's a bitch. He's the reason they took the artificial colour out of smarties!

HE IS JUST A CHEESE POOPING BITCH!

-Line

LOL. So, on a closing note, never trust a dude in a tunic.
-Nik

Farts and Glitter

wow. sounds like tinkerbell should cut back on the burritos. So, once again, our entry will start with one of us apologizing for our bloggerly neglect on the behalf of the duo. so, without further adue...

WE'RE SORRY WE NEGLECTED YOU!
-Nik

So I smell like my grandmother. Thanks once again to.... you guessed it. Nik. And her fucking glitter shit. I don't do glitter. Or grandmothers, really.

Anyway. Though I will apologize for the neglect, I will also present an excuse: We were dead.

Or the more realistic alternative, Christmas Break. On which Nik collected a impressive amount of toiletries that she now uses against me.
-Line

I use my toiletries against you? I don't remember any baby-powder-mace incidents....
But anywho. I am currently gnawing on an oversize lollipop, which Line is now having a lovely conversation with. and possibly frenching. but yeah. i bite my lollies. always. licking is for pussies. oh god that sounded really bad.
-Nik

So here I am. Sitting on Nik's bed when BAM SHIT BOOM!!! Devil cat at 12 o'clock. Saying something alike the lolcatz but in a most... discriminatory way against "gingah"s. To say the least, I was freaked out.

Until I found the Spock cat that was. Can't WAIT until November.
-Line

yep. t'will be a fun month. in the meantime, I will just pass the time being lollipop knee-fucked by Line, hanging out in third-floor CR. oh christ, she's slow-dancing with the goddamn lollipop. guess what she's getting as a year-end present. so, I'm thinking of making some kind of plug and watertight seal around my shower and make like a premier bathtub bubble bath. I COULD borrow MO's, but I wouldn't be as cool. So, I just made a realization: that now that my internet is set up, I can read storm hawks fanfiction! lol i know how nerdy that sounds, but it is actually the illegitimate nerdchild of line and I. my storm hawks plus her fanfiction. she i correcting my spelling of fanfiction. every five seconds from outside the room people hear "ONE WORD!" "FUCK!"

So, I was teaching Line the characters' names from LOTR, and her memory aid for Galadriel is "keepin' it real." Like what the fuck.
-Nik

So. Nik is going to need false teeth by the time she's 18 if she keeps biting that lollipop like that. Sucking and licking is NOT for pussies. It's for people who like to keep their teeth intact.

Anyway, on the subject of LOTR, Nik invested in an animal of late. And no, that would not be CB. It would be a fish, with the name of Frodo. Yes. The elf. Or hobbit. Or ginger midget or whatever the fuck. The fish is now under the care of AW, who insists on regulated eating habits. Even though fish have the memory span of, oh I dunno, 10 seconds?

Also, despite Nik's happiness about being able to read Storm Hawks fanfiction, I find it more of a curse. Stork is love though. Emo, we're doomed love, but love all the same.

HOLY FUCK! So innocently, Nik and I started brainstorming what would happen if she were to throw her lollipop at various hard surfaces.

The lolli would break the closet.

If we threw it at the roof, it would come back to hit Nik.

So to my surprise, I heard something shatter in the background. Nik threw it at the fucking floor. And though she was 100% sure it wouldn't shatter, shatter it did. Now there's lollipop everywhere. And a vacuum's broken. So Nik's on her knees taping and lint rolling the floor... hopefully before AW comes back. She would literally shit rainbow coloured candy.
-Line

LOL she so would, you have no idea. idea. that's one letter away from ikea. ohgod i love ikea. except for the stench of those god-awful hotdogs.
-Nik

Never been there...

Anyway on a closing note, if you're almost certain that something won't shatter when you fling it at the floor, don't fling it.

Goodbye all!!