Hello internet, it's Nik and Line.
So Nik has an incessant need to text people awkward things. On her phone, sure that would be fine. But she only does it on MY phone. So I get messages like WTF MAN? And don't know what I sent. Until I look and find BUTFUCKKKKK!!!!!! sent to every person on my contacts list.
-Line
LOL okay well the girl I just texted BUTTFUCKK!!! to just charged into the room and gave me this really retarded noogie. And on the subject of retarded, I think Line just went down on the keyboard.
SLICE OF IRONY OF THE WEEK:
So, we don't exactly call JN the Dr. Ruth of SY for nothing. so I found it ironic that during the conversation involving.... my.... experience... (or lack thereof) took this turn.
Nik: "Well, to make a long story short, I think he found out what my uvula tasted like."
*REALLY LONG AWKWARD PAUSE*
JN: "So, you let him go down on you, but you didn't even make out with him?!"
BUTanyway. We have neglected you lovelies, it's been a whole week and then some! But in return for our negligence, we should have a nice bank of stories built up to tell you.
-Nik
So, in our school's lovely redition of F451 Nik played a major lead!!! Well... she came out of the black curtains and said some lines from something. Well... she tired on night two. ANYWAY. LL and I made a beautiful sign. And held it up for AFW and Nik. They enjoyed it. And they know they did. Even if they couldn't see it. LOL.
-Line
BULL SHIT. I'm pretty sure my role in the play was more minimal than KYL-- and he was cut from the play in like the third week. OMG and okay. So we're doing this stint in chapel where all the book people perform the first scene, and then run like hell when RB walks in-- which I usually do anyway. and so I run down the steps, running down chapel when i trip - WHOMP - and fall flat on my face. then LKW trips on me. Then AFW trips on him. and then LKW is like "SORRY RB!"
-Nik
Speak of the devil (she doesn't look dangerous, does she?) we have a special guest speaker!
Ahh, don't say that, it reminds me of Boarders' Chapel yesterday. I was watching the prefects setting up to sing 'We are all in this together' (High School Musical- FAIL) and the director of boarding decided it was a good idea to move the fake christmas tree so that they would have more room. Well, he grabbed onto the top half of the tree and started to move it, but apparently failed to understand that the tree was in two pieces, and ended up dropping the thing, so that it looked like we had an overenthusiastic lumberjack hiding behind the prefects. Blllaaaahhhh.
I'm in a good mood. There is a reason behind this, and his initials are BVW. :) He's South African ^^
Oh, this is AFW, by the way.
Sooo... I am in love with Bender. I'm slacking off during prep (as always) and watching the Breakfast Club. He is possibly the greatest person I had ever seen. I mean, Dudeee. Oh, LOL! My senile old grandfather calls me every couple days and leaves random messages that aren't actually for me. So today he calls and when I don't answer he gets my machine. Nik was kind enough to record "IF YOU UTTER SO MUCH AS ONE SYLLABAL I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH. If you'd like to fax me, press the star key." Needless to say the message he left went like this:
*awkward silence*
*click*
We have done well Nik.
-Line
Indeed we have. And another reason we have done well: we have discovered the coloured text option.
NIK'S WEEKLY SLAP ACROSS THE FACE:
Library council is having a GINGERBREAD-decorating event this week.
WITHOUT ME.
GINGER.
WITH--OUT--ME!!
WTF!!!!
anywho, on a last note, remember Bob Barker's famous words:
"Make sure to have your pets spayed or neutered."
-Nik and Line
Monday, November 23, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Dude, this caramel smells like weed.
Hey internet, is Nik and Line.
GOOD NEWS: Line found a fuckload of left-over candy tucked away in random corners of her room from when her mom sent her this gigantic box of Hallowe'en shit.
EVEN BETTER NEWS: This candy includes black licorice. OM NOM FUCKING NOM.
BAD NEWS: Line isn't getting a ride to her weekend destination.
EVEN SHITTIER BUT FUNNY NEWS: Now she has to bus-hop all the way there. Fuck her life.
Line just asked me how to spell 'minstrel'. She's signing a birthday card. Now THIS I've gotta read.
-Nik
Well... long story short. Never send singing minstrels to people who hold grudges. Yep. I've learned my lesson. And I'm not "bus-hopping" per-say... just... Taking a bus. To another bus. To DBC. Then hoping I'll get a ride... yep. I really hate black licorice.... CANDY CORN... is another subject. Om nom nom.
-Line
Line, if you EVER send me a singing minstrel, I will shit bricks. Or, just beat your ass in with a pillow again. All depends. So, I have just discovered that if you eat both black licorice AND candy corn in rapid succession, it tastes REALLY GOOD. Unlike the BH clam chowder today. Ugh. Word of Advice: Never eat something that has "chow" in the name.
Oops. I totally just ruined thousands of asian men's sex lives. LOL.
-Nik
Aw shit Nik. Now why'd you go and do that. So... a little information for ya. Spring water tastes like shit. And I had this HUGE ASS bottle of spring water. Now it tastes good. Ya know why? Iced fucking tea is why. "Does that say Ivy club?" "Yeah." "I thought it said Luv Balls."
Dear readers. Nik needs new glasses.
-Line
In my defense, it was in the corner of a poster of a very androgynous Asian man.
Then again, I shouldn't really talk, I have a David Bowie fetish.
So Line's got this little terra cotta thing that apparently you hang this random shit on it and it makes all your dreams come true. So naturally, I go...
"What if you have a fucking nightmare?!"
-Nik
It's specific dreams Nik. It's like... Asian. It says something in... some Asian language. Should ask AW. Anyway. So. School photos. I learned that my head looks better against light background than dark ones.
So new best thing ever. Sweeney Todd. Spoken word. Look out. It's coming. Also, Nik and I found a place downtown that's called Sweeny Todd's. We want to take a field trip there. If we don't come back... watch your meat pies.
-Line
That Sweeny Todd's was actually a barbershop. I was like holy crap.
GUESS WHAT.
I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO GRAD.
AND I AM NOT EVEN GRADUATING.
WIN.
And, on the subject of win,
ALL RISE, HONOURABLE JN PRESIDING.
Well hello there my lovely children. Dr. Ruth here for my biweekly blurb... the most coherent thing you will read in the blog. So my topic for today? Not having premarital sex. My saying on this is simple... you have to test drive the car before you buy it.... and why try just one? You need to know what you like before you settle for ever. That is why I don't understand people who wait till after they get married for sex. I'm going to be frank, sex hurts at first, SO WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO RUIN YOUR WEDDING NIGHT?!?!?! I know the "religious" things... but seriously do you want to still listen to the crazy freaks who thought Mary "immaculately concepted" Jesus. Sorry religious people, but if immaculate conception exists then I'm terrified!
Please do SY Dr. Ruth a favour and next time you're close to having sex and that stupid thought "what would Jesus do" pops into your head... throw your purity ring across the room and enjoy! Sex is too good to wait for. (but please don't be irresponsible... condoms are very important, or at the very least birth control.)
Well thank you for that wonderful addition. You're probably right about it being the only sane part to this blog. And that says a fucking lot. Bounce, squiggle. Bounce, squiggle. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? (suspense suspense suspense because you know you won't get it because we're too awesome and suspenseful.) You wake up wet! LOL!
-Line
LOL, um, okay. So, not only am I not doing anything productive during prep, I am in someone else's room. SCANDALOUS!
OH MY GOD. BEST IDEA EVER.
LABYRINTH.SOUNDTRACK.REMIX.
OH YES.
-Nik
So I've decided to make a list of all the shitty movies that Will Ferrell has been in.
1. Blades of Glory
2. Elf
3. Land of The Lost (so shitty it became somehow fucking good... plus Leonard Nimoy)
4. Stepbrothers
5. Anchorman
6. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
7. Semi-Pro
8. Stranger Than Fiction.
So that's a lot of shitty movies. And that's only the one's we've seen.
-Line
Okay, I don't want to make it sound like I like WIll Ferrell movies at all, but I liked step-brothers. and The Cher reference and Danny McBride's redneckery made my life.
ALRIGHT.
ON A CLOSING NOTE...
don't yell "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" at teachers, they don't like it very much.
-Nikandline
GOOD NEWS: Line found a fuckload of left-over candy tucked away in random corners of her room from when her mom sent her this gigantic box of Hallowe'en shit.
EVEN BETTER NEWS: This candy includes black licorice. OM NOM FUCKING NOM.
BAD NEWS: Line isn't getting a ride to her weekend destination.
EVEN SHITTIER BUT FUNNY NEWS: Now she has to bus-hop all the way there. Fuck her life.
Line just asked me how to spell 'minstrel'. She's signing a birthday card. Now THIS I've gotta read.
-Nik
Well... long story short. Never send singing minstrels to people who hold grudges. Yep. I've learned my lesson. And I'm not "bus-hopping" per-say... just... Taking a bus. To another bus. To DBC. Then hoping I'll get a ride... yep. I really hate black licorice.... CANDY CORN... is another subject. Om nom nom.
-Line
Line, if you EVER send me a singing minstrel, I will shit bricks. Or, just beat your ass in with a pillow again. All depends. So, I have just discovered that if you eat both black licorice AND candy corn in rapid succession, it tastes REALLY GOOD. Unlike the BH clam chowder today. Ugh. Word of Advice: Never eat something that has "chow" in the name.
Oops. I totally just ruined thousands of asian men's sex lives. LOL.
-Nik
Aw shit Nik. Now why'd you go and do that. So... a little information for ya. Spring water tastes like shit. And I had this HUGE ASS bottle of spring water. Now it tastes good. Ya know why? Iced fucking tea is why. "Does that say Ivy club?" "Yeah." "I thought it said Luv Balls."
Dear readers. Nik needs new glasses.
-Line
In my defense, it was in the corner of a poster of a very androgynous Asian man.
Then again, I shouldn't really talk, I have a David Bowie fetish.
So Line's got this little terra cotta thing that apparently you hang this random shit on it and it makes all your dreams come true. So naturally, I go...
"What if you have a fucking nightmare?!"
-Nik
It's specific dreams Nik. It's like... Asian. It says something in... some Asian language. Should ask AW. Anyway. So. School photos. I learned that my head looks better against light background than dark ones.
So new best thing ever. Sweeney Todd. Spoken word. Look out. It's coming. Also, Nik and I found a place downtown that's called Sweeny Todd's. We want to take a field trip there. If we don't come back... watch your meat pies.
-Line
That Sweeny Todd's was actually a barbershop. I was like holy crap.
GUESS WHAT.
I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO GRAD.
AND I AM NOT EVEN GRADUATING.
WIN.
And, on the subject of win,
ALL RISE, HONOURABLE JN PRESIDING.
Well hello there my lovely children. Dr. Ruth here for my biweekly blurb... the most coherent thing you will read in the blog. So my topic for today? Not having premarital sex. My saying on this is simple... you have to test drive the car before you buy it.... and why try just one? You need to know what you like before you settle for ever. That is why I don't understand people who wait till after they get married for sex. I'm going to be frank, sex hurts at first, SO WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO RUIN YOUR WEDDING NIGHT?!?!?! I know the "religious" things... but seriously do you want to still listen to the crazy freaks who thought Mary "immaculately concepted" Jesus. Sorry religious people, but if immaculate conception exists then I'm terrified!
Please do SY Dr. Ruth a favour and next time you're close to having sex and that stupid thought "what would Jesus do" pops into your head... throw your purity ring across the room and enjoy! Sex is too good to wait for. (but please don't be irresponsible... condoms are very important, or at the very least birth control.)
Well thank you for that wonderful addition. You're probably right about it being the only sane part to this blog. And that says a fucking lot. Bounce, squiggle. Bounce, squiggle. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? (suspense suspense suspense because you know you won't get it because we're too awesome and suspenseful.) You wake up wet! LOL!
-Line
LOL, um, okay. So, not only am I not doing anything productive during prep, I am in someone else's room. SCANDALOUS!
OH MY GOD. BEST IDEA EVER.
LABYRINTH.SOUNDTRACK.REMIX.
OH YES.
-Nik
So I've decided to make a list of all the shitty movies that Will Ferrell has been in.
1. Blades of Glory
2. Elf
3. Land of The Lost (so shitty it became somehow fucking good... plus Leonard Nimoy)
4. Stepbrothers
5. Anchorman
6. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
7. Semi-Pro
8. Stranger Than Fiction.
So that's a lot of shitty movies. And that's only the one's we've seen.
-Line
Okay, I don't want to make it sound like I like WIll Ferrell movies at all, but I liked step-brothers. and The Cher reference and Danny McBride's redneckery made my life.
ALRIGHT.
ON A CLOSING NOTE...
don't yell "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" at teachers, they don't like it very much.
-Nikandline
Monday, November 9, 2009
Oh, I thought you ate all of my tic-tacs.
Hey everyone. it's Nik and Line. no shit. but anywhoo. I think Line has something to confess about her obsession with my socks.
-Nik
Do I really Nik? I think not. But thou dost perhaps have something that would be of interest. Your obsession with gingers. To this date, Nik has collected, a lock of ginger hair, a ginger's tic-tacs, and a gingers virginity.
-Line
LOL maybe not the latter, Line. I DO, however, have a ginger schedule.
So, I'm sitting in homeroom, 'cause they cancelled assembly (swine flu *cough* paranoid *cough*), and I notice the substitute homeroom teacher is in a disgustingly good mood.
I also notice she screws up the attendance.
I also notice the remnants of tequila from the bottom of the bottle in the Dia de los Muertos display was gone.
-Nik
So, did you know that if you put your left over eraser bits or sparkles in a spider web, the spider will like, fucking trip out. Yep. We've tried. Then when it finds out how shitty rubber is he totally pops a cap on his little spider wife's ass.
-Line
LOL that was the cat's ass, I remember doing that. Although I don't remember the spider wife getting popped. My grandmother just bought a five bedroom house. SHE LIVES BY HERSELF.
oh yeah, little known fact: If you spill glow-stick juice on a cat in a dark room, it will get scared shitless and run around in circles. oh yes.
-Nik
I would reeeeally like to know how you found that one out... A more known fact: If you get glow-stick juice in your eyes, it fucking hurts. FUCKING hurts.
So... I think that my daughter is going to die due to voodoo doll poisoning of CL's FACE!!
-Line
My dad and his friends found that out, actually...let's just say they weren't called "the fry brothers" for nothing. So CL just ate all of our chips...well, Line's chips.
WHAT ARE BLOGGERS TO DO WITHOUT SNACKS?
okay, here's a little list of all the ways bloggers resemble potheads.
1. They eat all this retarded shit (*cough* Line's cariboo jerky)
2. They listen to really screwed up music (I think we're listening to some rave shit right now)
OH SORRY, APPARENTLY IT'S TRANCE.
3.They giggle really hard at the phrase, "The Crack-spider's bitch."
*snicker*
So, Line kinda fails at life, she lost a 500-word thingy today...
-Nik
DON'T BRING THAT UP!!! Aw shit... you brought it up. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, the ONLY reason I lost it is because Windows sucks some fucking dickweed ass..
-Line
MMM, sounds appetizing. oh shit. Line just locked herself in the bathroom. Oh well. I've got the chocolate. JN's reading us the ridiculously high prices to watch the olympics. Biathlons are $70. SEVENTY. To watch a guy in spandex go whizzing by every hour. If I'm watching a guy in spandex, it's better be the goddamn Goblin King. oh baby.
-Nik
YOU REMIND ME OF THE BABE!! What babe...? I DUNNO? Anyway. So, now we're talking about octopuses... Or something. So I've made it my life goal to ride the skytrain around Vancouver for an entire day. And hopefully not get shot or shanked...
-Line
Dood, I've taken transit with Jesus. If you tag along with him you'll be fine. I spent an hour on the bus with him, he had all these bottles of organic juice with him and he was giving them out. He was actually so cool.
-Nik
Is Jesus pronounced like... HEY ZEUS?? I dunno. Cuz that would make more sense than the guy who was like, killed for this world...
This one time at Band Camp... we had a beach party. Yup. True story. I've been to band camp. Fuck I'm a nerd.
-Line
I think I need to get tested for Tourette's. like actually. I printed the wrong letter in bio and screamed "FUCK". Two ailments I would be proud to have: Tourette's syndrome, and a seminal fluid allergy. That would be HILARIOUS. Here I go again with the awkward moments.
So, I've got a fricking bone to pick with boarding. ALL THE FRICKING toilet paper on the SY side. Like fuck, HA boys aren't the only people who use toilet paper.
side note: I LOVE EURO POP.
-Nik
HOLY SHIT GUYS!! Nik was eating a chocolate santa. And she laughed. And fucking spit him out on my fucking bed. MY BED!! She also EWWWW DID IT AGAIN!!!! And sat on a fucking chocolate cat and got it on my fucking bed. WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH HER AND CHOCOLATE AND MY FUCKING BED!!!
-Line (who's royally pissed)
Wow, way to make it sound like I have a chocolate fetish. So apparently there's a free Lights concert tonight, but invite only. LW, of course, is going, but I think if they found out he thinks Queen is horrid he'd get kicked out. Sorry to say it Line, but your idealized LW is kind of a turkey turd at times.
-Nik
KIND OF? He scares me. And then like.. waves in his creepy wavey ways. Weak Welsh Weasels Wheel Wet Watermelons With Warring Whereasota. A little tongue twister for your twisting needs.
-Line
If I have the need for twisting I'll find a sexy contortionist, thanks. SO, INTERNET PEOPLE, LINE JUST TOOK ALL MY FUCKING SOCKS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE FUCK SHE PUT THEM BUT YOU CAN BET I'LL BE SPITTING CHOCOLATE IN HER BED FOR THE NEXT WEEK.
YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A QUEEF. IT IS ON.
wow, now she put her computer case on her head and proceeded to do the chicken dance.
-Nik
You might wanna check in the cupcake isle for those socks Nik... So from the screaming I hear from her room... She's found the socks. This time dear Nik. Next time I won't be so easy.... Well.. it seems she is locking them up... LOL!
-Line
"it's five o'clock"
your computer's clock scares the shit out of me. and I am going to do something horrible to you for the socks. People of the interweb, this is a recurring event. every time i'm in Line's room, she wrestles me to get my socks off. and now she has just stolen them and hidden them. again. the next time I see her I am going to beat the shit out of her fullmetal jacket style, with a bar of soap in a sock.
OH FUCK, SHE HAS MY SOCKS!
-Nik
BWAHAH!!! I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A CLOSING SONG!!!
I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
My monster, from its slab, began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the Mash, he did the Monster Mash
The Monster Mash, and it's a graveyard smash
He did the Mash, it caught on in a flash
He did the Mash, he did the Monster Mash
You all know you wanna dance along. And you're all gonna do it. I just know.
Yup. You did it.
By the way. Nik beat me up with a giant ass bar of soap.
So on a closing note...
Always keep an eye on your socks. Because you never REALLY know where they're going to be next.
-Nik
Do I really Nik? I think not. But thou dost perhaps have something that would be of interest. Your obsession with gingers. To this date, Nik has collected, a lock of ginger hair, a ginger's tic-tacs, and a gingers virginity.
-Line
LOL maybe not the latter, Line. I DO, however, have a ginger schedule.
So, I'm sitting in homeroom, 'cause they cancelled assembly (swine flu *cough* paranoid *cough*), and I notice the substitute homeroom teacher is in a disgustingly good mood.
I also notice she screws up the attendance.
I also notice the remnants of tequila from the bottom of the bottle in the Dia de los Muertos display was gone.
-Nik
So, did you know that if you put your left over eraser bits or sparkles in a spider web, the spider will like, fucking trip out. Yep. We've tried. Then when it finds out how shitty rubber is he totally pops a cap on his little spider wife's ass.
-Line
LOL that was the cat's ass, I remember doing that. Although I don't remember the spider wife getting popped. My grandmother just bought a five bedroom house. SHE LIVES BY HERSELF.
oh yeah, little known fact: If you spill glow-stick juice on a cat in a dark room, it will get scared shitless and run around in circles. oh yes.
-Nik
I would reeeeally like to know how you found that one out... A more known fact: If you get glow-stick juice in your eyes, it fucking hurts. FUCKING hurts.
So... I think that my daughter is going to die due to voodoo doll poisoning of CL's FACE!!
-Line
My dad and his friends found that out, actually...let's just say they weren't called "the fry brothers" for nothing. So CL just ate all of our chips...well, Line's chips.
WHAT ARE BLOGGERS TO DO WITHOUT SNACKS?
okay, here's a little list of all the ways bloggers resemble potheads.
1. They eat all this retarded shit (*cough* Line's cariboo jerky)
2. They listen to really screwed up music (I think we're listening to some rave shit right now)
OH SORRY, APPARENTLY IT'S TRANCE.
3.They giggle really hard at the phrase, "The Crack-spider's bitch."
*snicker*
So, Line kinda fails at life, she lost a 500-word thingy today...
-Nik
DON'T BRING THAT UP!!! Aw shit... you brought it up. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, the ONLY reason I lost it is because Windows sucks some fucking dickweed ass..
-Line
MMM, sounds appetizing. oh shit. Line just locked herself in the bathroom. Oh well. I've got the chocolate. JN's reading us the ridiculously high prices to watch the olympics. Biathlons are $70. SEVENTY. To watch a guy in spandex go whizzing by every hour. If I'm watching a guy in spandex, it's better be the goddamn Goblin King. oh baby.
-Nik
YOU REMIND ME OF THE BABE!! What babe...? I DUNNO? Anyway. So, now we're talking about octopuses... Or something. So I've made it my life goal to ride the skytrain around Vancouver for an entire day. And hopefully not get shot or shanked...
-Line
Dood, I've taken transit with Jesus. If you tag along with him you'll be fine. I spent an hour on the bus with him, he had all these bottles of organic juice with him and he was giving them out. He was actually so cool.
-Nik
Is Jesus pronounced like... HEY ZEUS?? I dunno. Cuz that would make more sense than the guy who was like, killed for this world...
This one time at Band Camp... we had a beach party. Yup. True story. I've been to band camp. Fuck I'm a nerd.
-Line
I think I need to get tested for Tourette's. like actually. I printed the wrong letter in bio and screamed "FUCK". Two ailments I would be proud to have: Tourette's syndrome, and a seminal fluid allergy. That would be HILARIOUS. Here I go again with the awkward moments.
So, I've got a fricking bone to pick with boarding. ALL THE FRICKING toilet paper on the SY side. Like fuck, HA boys aren't the only people who use toilet paper.
side note: I LOVE EURO POP.
-Nik
HOLY SHIT GUYS!! Nik was eating a chocolate santa. And she laughed. And fucking spit him out on my fucking bed. MY BED!! She also EWWWW DID IT AGAIN!!!! And sat on a fucking chocolate cat and got it on my fucking bed. WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH HER AND CHOCOLATE AND MY FUCKING BED!!!
-Line (who's royally pissed)
Wow, way to make it sound like I have a chocolate fetish. So apparently there's a free Lights concert tonight, but invite only. LW, of course, is going, but I think if they found out he thinks Queen is horrid he'd get kicked out. Sorry to say it Line, but your idealized LW is kind of a turkey turd at times.
-Nik
KIND OF? He scares me. And then like.. waves in his creepy wavey ways. Weak Welsh Weasels Wheel Wet Watermelons With Warring Whereasota. A little tongue twister for your twisting needs.
-Line
If I have the need for twisting I'll find a sexy contortionist, thanks. SO, INTERNET PEOPLE, LINE JUST TOOK ALL MY FUCKING SOCKS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE FUCK SHE PUT THEM BUT YOU CAN BET I'LL BE SPITTING CHOCOLATE IN HER BED FOR THE NEXT WEEK.
YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A QUEEF. IT IS ON.
wow, now she put her computer case on her head and proceeded to do the chicken dance.
-Nik
You might wanna check in the cupcake isle for those socks Nik... So from the screaming I hear from her room... She's found the socks. This time dear Nik. Next time I won't be so easy.... Well.. it seems she is locking them up... LOL!
-Line
"it's five o'clock"
your computer's clock scares the shit out of me. and I am going to do something horrible to you for the socks. People of the interweb, this is a recurring event. every time i'm in Line's room, she wrestles me to get my socks off. and now she has just stolen them and hidden them. again. the next time I see her I am going to beat the shit out of her fullmetal jacket style, with a bar of soap in a sock.
OH FUCK, SHE HAS MY SOCKS!
-Nik
BWAHAH!!! I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A CLOSING SONG!!!
I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
My monster, from its slab, began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the Mash, he did the Monster Mash
The Monster Mash, and it's a graveyard smash
He did the Mash, it caught on in a flash
He did the Mash, he did the Monster Mash
You all know you wanna dance along. And you're all gonna do it. I just know.
Yup. You did it.
By the way. Nik beat me up with a giant ass bar of soap.
So on a closing note...
Always keep an eye on your socks. Because you never REALLY know where they're going to be next.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
FIRST POST YESSS!
GOOD MORNING STARSHINE,
THE EARTH SAYS--HELLO!
oops. copyright infringement. oh well. it'll be our little secret. So house games today, and both houses in our house (that made sense) lost both games. Too bad it wasn't Tuesday...
Anyway, so we're sitting there watching HA house suck some major BA balls, and LINE over here refuses to desist taking stalker pictures of a certain someones ASS.
-Nik
For the record. I did not. (Even if I did.)
-Line
So guess who had Friday night prep on Friday?
Not me...
But Nik did.
YEP.
Best two hours of my life, NOT. I totally want it back. You know FNP's gone to shit when the kid sitting beside you whips out the pencil crayons out...
not to mention the dude monitoring us acts like this total badass cop, trying to be all Samuel L. Jackson about it, but ending up looking more like Paul Blart.
-Nik
So... I've been wasting money like a trophy wife. Yep. I should really stop. But when the Labyrinth and Benny and Joon are calling... you just need to fucking answer.
-Line
So I'm reading the script for Miss Saigon, and OMG the engineer is a total dickweed. SO glad CB didn't get the part, hed turn into a total wifebeater. However, that would include him growing a pair...a new experience for him.
-Nik
When he's not quacking... *quackquack* So... for the first time, my posters are actually starting to freak me out. 108 eyes staring at me... Including Nik's make it.. 111.
-Line
WTF Line, I have three eyes? yeah. I'm not surprised, 54 androgynous asian men have got to start creeping you out after a while, I wonder how long it'll take my future Iron Maiden poster to freak me out...
But anyway, Line's got this decorative Hallowe'en garland thing running around the room that says "BOO" and then little ghosts. So of course I cut one of the Bs off and taped it to the other, so now it says BOOB. I WIN.
-Nik
Speaking of Halloween... The Vampire's Assistent = Crap.... Plotless crap.... Not that that had anything to do with Halloween...
But something that actually has something to do with Halloween (in crappy poem form):
On the eve of Halloween,
Nik and Line,
Walked to the movies.
And met the extremely awesome people who work in Blockbuster.
Who showed us the M&M etch-a-sketch,
and planned to dress themselves in latex.
REPOOOOOOOO MANNNNN!!!!
So obviously... I suck at poetry. That wasn't even poetry... but if you sang the REEEEPOOOOO MANNNNNN!!! part... it would make up for the utter lack of... *WOW*
-Line
Latex doesn't rhyme with Blockuster, nerd. so anyway, I'm really worried that Line's gonna rape CA. Like total wait-in-the-bushes-guerilla wham-bam-thank-you...sir? But anyway, we have a Public Service announcement from your friend and mine, the Dr. Ruth of SY house, the illustrious JN.
-Nik
Hello children. I must inform you all of the dangers of lack of physical contact between couples. Once 2 young people become "attached" physical contact tends to follow (unless they are purity followers... they are out on their own... I have NO idea how your supposed to wait... but that is for another day). Anyways... when a young couple begins to date physical contact in one form or another usually commences. Unfortuantly lucky old Nik found the ONE teenage non-hornster out there. CB not only thinks that lap sitting is unacceptable but has only allowed quick pecks. PROTEST THIS HORRIBLE FORM OF NOT TOUCH-EYNESS!!! TELL NIK THAT SHE MUST STAY AWAY FROM THIS HORRIBLE NON-DISPLAY OF AFFECTION. It is not normal for teenagers to not have physical contact... and hand puppets DO NOT COUNT (yes, there have been hand puppets). Please I urge any body who reads this please urge Nik to get rid of CB. It may offer me hours of entertainment laughing at him... but Nik deserves better. That is all. Back to others...
-JN
*Nik runs off to find a cute photo of him*
Never going to happen people... CB is a chicken who is going to end up getting his head chopped off and then runs off a cliff.
-Line
"THAT'S a cute picture... Mind you he's getting his fucking HEAD shaved..."
-Nik
LOL IT IS! You guys don't belieeeeve me! But oh well. Right now I am fraternizing with a ginger. A GINGER, PEOPLE. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN ASKED HIM IF THE CARPET MTCHES THE DRAPES!! yet...
oh, and I think I was just referred to as a "Giant Freaking Toad." You know you're adorable when.
-Nik
KHANNNNNN!!!!!!!!
-Line
So, a NikandLine first, I interviewed a Ginger.
"So I hear you're a ginger."
*stops talking*
"100% Ginger?"
"Naw... more like strawberry blonde."
"Not what I was referring to..."
*awkward silence*
[BTW:I am the queen Sheba of awkward silences.]
"MAH PUBES ARE ORANGISH"
"OMG REALLY?"
"no, not really."
"aw, damn."
"you'll live."
so through Line I find out...
"You're dating a 20-year-old scene kid? GROW UP."
-Nik
So, I think we've had a pretty good kick at the blogger can tonight, so, on a closing note...
STAY SAFE. THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED ANOTHER YOU.
-NikandLine
THE EARTH SAYS--HELLO!
oops. copyright infringement. oh well. it'll be our little secret. So house games today, and both houses in our house (that made sense) lost both games. Too bad it wasn't Tuesday...
Anyway, so we're sitting there watching HA house suck some major BA balls, and LINE over here refuses to desist taking stalker pictures of a certain someones ASS.
-Nik
For the record. I did not. (Even if I did.)
-Line
So guess who had Friday night prep on Friday?
Not me...
But Nik did.
YEP.
Best two hours of my life, NOT. I totally want it back. You know FNP's gone to shit when the kid sitting beside you whips out the pencil crayons out...
not to mention the dude monitoring us acts like this total badass cop, trying to be all Samuel L. Jackson about it, but ending up looking more like Paul Blart.
-Nik
So... I've been wasting money like a trophy wife. Yep. I should really stop. But when the Labyrinth and Benny and Joon are calling... you just need to fucking answer.
-Line
So I'm reading the script for Miss Saigon, and OMG the engineer is a total dickweed. SO glad CB didn't get the part, hed turn into a total wifebeater. However, that would include him growing a pair...a new experience for him.
-Nik
When he's not quacking... *quackquack* So... for the first time, my posters are actually starting to freak me out. 108 eyes staring at me... Including Nik's make it.. 111.
-Line
WTF Line, I have three eyes? yeah. I'm not surprised, 54 androgynous asian men have got to start creeping you out after a while, I wonder how long it'll take my future Iron Maiden poster to freak me out...
But anyway, Line's got this decorative Hallowe'en garland thing running around the room that says "BOO" and then little ghosts. So of course I cut one of the Bs off and taped it to the other, so now it says BOOB. I WIN.
-Nik
Speaking of Halloween... The Vampire's Assistent = Crap.... Plotless crap.... Not that that had anything to do with Halloween...
But something that actually has something to do with Halloween (in crappy poem form):
On the eve of Halloween,
Nik and Line,
Walked to the movies.
And met the extremely awesome people who work in Blockbuster.
Who showed us the M&M etch-a-sketch,
and planned to dress themselves in latex.
REPOOOOOOOO MANNNNN!!!!
So obviously... I suck at poetry. That wasn't even poetry... but if you sang the REEEEPOOOOO MANNNNNN!!! part... it would make up for the utter lack of... *WOW*
-Line
Latex doesn't rhyme with Blockuster, nerd. so anyway, I'm really worried that Line's gonna rape CA. Like total wait-in-the-bushes-guerilla wham-bam-thank-you...sir? But anyway, we have a Public Service announcement from your friend and mine, the Dr. Ruth of SY house, the illustrious JN.
-Nik
Hello children. I must inform you all of the dangers of lack of physical contact between couples. Once 2 young people become "attached" physical contact tends to follow (unless they are purity followers... they are out on their own... I have NO idea how your supposed to wait... but that is for another day). Anyways... when a young couple begins to date physical contact in one form or another usually commences. Unfortuantly lucky old Nik found the ONE teenage non-hornster out there. CB not only thinks that lap sitting is unacceptable but has only allowed quick pecks. PROTEST THIS HORRIBLE FORM OF NOT TOUCH-EYNESS!!! TELL NIK THAT SHE MUST STAY AWAY FROM THIS HORRIBLE NON-DISPLAY OF AFFECTION. It is not normal for teenagers to not have physical contact... and hand puppets DO NOT COUNT (yes, there have been hand puppets). Please I urge any body who reads this please urge Nik to get rid of CB. It may offer me hours of entertainment laughing at him... but Nik deserves better. That is all. Back to others...
-JN
*Nik runs off to find a cute photo of him*
Never going to happen people... CB is a chicken who is going to end up getting his head chopped off and then runs off a cliff.
-Line
"THAT'S a cute picture... Mind you he's getting his fucking HEAD shaved..."
-Nik
LOL IT IS! You guys don't belieeeeve me! But oh well. Right now I am fraternizing with a ginger. A GINGER, PEOPLE. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN ASKED HIM IF THE CARPET MTCHES THE DRAPES!! yet...
oh, and I think I was just referred to as a "Giant Freaking Toad." You know you're adorable when.
-Nik
KHANNNNNN!!!!!!!!
-Line
So, a NikandLine first, I interviewed a Ginger.
"So I hear you're a ginger."
*stops talking*
"100% Ginger?"
"Naw... more like strawberry blonde."
"Not what I was referring to..."
*awkward silence*
[BTW:I am the queen Sheba of awkward silences.]
"MAH PUBES ARE ORANGISH"
"OMG REALLY?"
"no, not really."
"aw, damn."
"you'll live."
so through Line I find out...
"You're dating a 20-year-old scene kid? GROW UP."
-Nik
So, I think we've had a pretty good kick at the blogger can tonight, so, on a closing note...
STAY SAFE. THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED ANOTHER YOU.
-NikandLine
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