Oh, I thought you ate all of my tic-tacs.

Hey everyone. it's Nik and Line. no shit. but anywhoo. I think Line has something to confess about her obsession with my socks.
-Nik

Do I really Nik? I think not. But thou dost perhaps have something that would be of interest. Your obsession with gingers. To this date, Nik has collected, a lock of ginger hair, a ginger's tic-tacs, and a gingers virginity.
-Line

LOL maybe not the latter, Line. I DO, however, have a ginger schedule.
So, I'm sitting in homeroom, 'cause they cancelled assembly (swine flu *cough* paranoid *cough*), and I notice the substitute homeroom teacher is in a disgustingly good mood.
I also notice she screws up the attendance.
I also notice the remnants of tequila from the bottom of the bottle in the Dia de los Muertos display was gone.
-Nik

So, did you know that if you put your left over eraser bits or sparkles in a spider web, the spider will like, fucking trip out. Yep. We've tried. Then when it finds out how shitty rubber is he totally pops a cap on his little spider wife's ass.
-Line

LOL that was the cat's ass, I remember doing that. Although I don't remember the spider wife getting popped. My grandmother just bought a five bedroom house. SHE LIVES BY HERSELF.

oh yeah, little known fact: If you spill glow-stick juice on a cat in a dark room, it will get scared shitless and run around in circles. oh yes.
-Nik

I would reeeeally like to know how you found that one out... A more known fact: If you get glow-stick juice in your eyes, it fucking hurts. FUCKING hurts.

So... I think that my daughter is going to die due to voodoo doll poisoning of CL's FACE!!
-Line

My dad and his friends found that out, actually...let's just say they weren't called "the fry brothers" for nothing. So CL just ate all of our chips...well, Line's chips.

WHAT ARE BLOGGERS TO DO WITHOUT SNACKS?

okay, here's a little list of all the ways bloggers resemble potheads.
1. They eat all this retarded shit (*cough* Line's cariboo jerky)
2. They listen to really screwed up music (I think we're listening to some rave shit right now)
OH SORRY, APPARENTLY IT'S TRANCE.
3.They giggle really hard at the phrase, "The Crack-spider's bitch."
*snicker*

So, Line kinda fails at life, she lost a 500-word thingy today...
-Nik

DON'T BRING THAT UP!!! Aw shit... you brought it up. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, the ONLY reason I lost it is because Windows sucks some fucking dickweed ass..
-Line

MMM, sounds appetizing. oh shit. Line just locked herself in the bathroom. Oh well. I've got the chocolate. JN's reading us the ridiculously high prices to watch the olympics. Biathlons are $70. SEVENTY. To watch a guy in spandex go whizzing by every hour. If I'm watching a guy in spandex, it's better be the goddamn Goblin King. oh baby.
-Nik

YOU REMIND ME OF THE BABE!! What babe...? I DUNNO? Anyway. So, now we're talking about octopuses... Or something. So I've made it my life goal to ride the skytrain around Vancouver for an entire day. And hopefully not get shot or shanked...
-Line

Dood, I've taken transit with Jesus. If you tag along with him you'll be fine. I spent an hour on the bus with him, he had all these bottles of organic juice with him and he was giving them out. He was actually so cool.
-Nik

Is Jesus pronounced like... HEY ZEUS?? I dunno. Cuz that would make more sense than the guy who was like, killed for this world...

This one time at Band Camp... we had a beach party. Yup. True story. I've been to band camp. Fuck I'm a nerd.
-Line

I think I need to get tested for Tourette's. like actually. I printed the wrong letter in bio and screamed "FUCK". Two ailments I would be proud to have: Tourette's syndrome, and a seminal fluid allergy. That would be HILARIOUS. Here I go again with the awkward moments.

So, I've got a fricking bone to pick with boarding. ALL THE FRICKING toilet paper on the SY side. Like fuck, HA boys aren't the only people who use toilet paper.

side note: I LOVE EURO POP.
-Nik

HOLY SHIT GUYS!! Nik was eating a chocolate santa. And she laughed. And fucking spit him out on my fucking bed. MY BED!! She also EWWWW DID IT AGAIN!!!! And sat on a fucking chocolate cat and got it on my fucking bed. WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH HER AND CHOCOLATE AND MY FUCKING BED!!!
-Line (who's royally pissed)

Wow, way to make it sound like I have a chocolate fetish. So apparently there's a free Lights concert tonight, but invite only. LW, of course, is going, but I think if they found out he thinks Queen is horrid he'd get kicked out. Sorry to say it Line, but your idealized LW is kind of a turkey turd at times.
-Nik

KIND OF? He scares me. And then like.. waves in his creepy wavey ways. Weak Welsh Weasels Wheel Wet Watermelons With Warring Whereasota. A little tongue twister for your twisting needs.
-Line

If I have the need for twisting I'll find a sexy contortionist, thanks. SO, INTERNET PEOPLE, LINE JUST TOOK ALL MY FUCKING SOCKS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE FUCK SHE PUT THEM BUT YOU CAN BET I'LL BE SPITTING CHOCOLATE IN HER BED FOR THE NEXT WEEK.
YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A QUEEF. IT IS ON.

wow, now she put her computer case on her head and proceeded to do the chicken dance.
-Nik

You might wanna check in the cupcake isle for those socks Nik... So from the screaming I hear from her room... She's found the socks. This time dear Nik. Next time I won't be so easy.... Well.. it seems she is locking them up... LOL!
-Line

"it's five o'clock"

your computer's clock scares the shit out of me. and I am going to do something horrible to you for the socks. People of the interweb, this is a recurring event. every time i'm in Line's room, she wrestles me to get my socks off. and now she has just stolen them and hidden them. again. the next time I see her I am going to beat the shit out of her fullmetal jacket style, with a bar of soap in a sock.
OH FUCK, SHE HAS MY SOCKS!
-Nik

BWAHAH!!! I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A CLOSING SONG!!!

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
My monster, from its slab, began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the Mash, he did the Monster Mash
The Monster Mash, and it's a graveyard smash
He did the Mash, it caught on in a flash
He did the Mash, he did the Monster Mash

You all know you wanna dance along. And you're all gonna do it. I just know.

Yup. You did it.

By the way. Nik beat me up with a giant ass bar of soap.

So on a closing note...

Always keep an eye on your socks. Because you never REALLY know where they're going to be next.

FIRST POST YESSS!

GOOD MORNING STARSHINE,
THE EARTH SAYS--HELLO!

oops. copyright infringement. oh well. it'll be our little secret. So house games today, and both houses in our house (that made sense) lost both games. Too bad it wasn't Tuesday...

Anyway, so we're sitting there watching HA house suck some major BA balls, and LINE over here refuses to desist taking stalker pictures of a certain someones ASS.
-Nik

For the record. I did not. (Even if I did.)
-Line

So guess who had Friday night prep on Friday?

Not me...

But Nik did.

YEP.
Best two hours of my life, NOT. I totally want it back. You know FNP's gone to shit when the kid sitting beside you whips out the pencil crayons out...
not to mention the dude monitoring us acts like this total badass cop, trying to be all Samuel L. Jackson about it, but ending up looking more like Paul Blart.
-Nik

So... I've been wasting money like a trophy wife. Yep. I should really stop. But when the Labyrinth and Benny and Joon are calling... you just need to fucking answer.
-Line

So I'm reading the script for Miss Saigon, and OMG the engineer is a total dickweed. SO glad CB didn't get the part, hed turn into a total wifebeater. However, that would include him growing a pair...a new experience for him.
-Nik

When he's not quacking... *quackquack* So... for the first time, my posters are actually starting to freak me out. 108 eyes staring at me... Including Nik's make it.. 111.
-Line

WTF Line, I have three eyes? yeah. I'm not surprised, 54 androgynous asian men have got to start creeping you out after a while, I wonder how long it'll take my future Iron Maiden poster to freak me out...
But anyway, Line's got this decorative Hallowe'en garland thing running around the room that says "BOO" and then little ghosts. So of course I cut one of the Bs off and taped it to the other, so now it says BOOB. I WIN.
-Nik

Speaking of Halloween... The Vampire's Assistent = Crap.... Plotless crap.... Not that that had anything to do with Halloween...
But something that actually has something to do with Halloween (in crappy poem form):

On the eve of Halloween,
Nik and Line,
Walked to the movies.
And met the extremely awesome people who work in Blockbuster.
Who showed us the M&M etch-a-sketch,
and planned to dress themselves in latex.
REPOOOOOOOO MANNNNN!!!!

So obviously... I suck at poetry. That wasn't even poetry... but if you sang the REEEEPOOOOO MANNNNNN!!! part... it would make up for the utter lack of... *WOW*
-Line

Latex doesn't rhyme with Blockuster, nerd. so anyway, I'm really worried that Line's gonna rape CA. Like total wait-in-the-bushes-guerilla wham-bam-thank-you...sir? But anyway, we have a Public Service announcement from your friend and mine, the Dr. Ruth of SY house, the illustrious JN.
-Nik

Hello children. I must inform you all of the dangers of lack of physical contact between couples. Once 2 young people become "attached" physical contact tends to follow (unless they are purity followers... they are out on their own... I have NO idea how your supposed to wait... but that is for another day). Anyways... when a young couple begins to date physical contact in one form or another usually commences. Unfortuantly lucky old Nik found the ONE teenage non-hornster out there. CB not only thinks that lap sitting is unacceptable but has only allowed quick pecks. PROTEST THIS HORRIBLE FORM OF NOT TOUCH-EYNESS!!! TELL NIK THAT SHE MUST STAY AWAY FROM THIS HORRIBLE NON-DISPLAY OF AFFECTION. It is not normal for teenagers to not have physical contact... and hand puppets DO NOT COUNT (yes, there have been hand puppets). Please I urge any body who reads this please urge Nik to get rid of CB. It may offer me hours of entertainment laughing at him... but Nik deserves better. That is all. Back to others...
-JN

*Nik runs off to find a cute photo of him*

Never going to happen people... CB is a chicken who is going to end up getting his head chopped off and then runs off a cliff.
-Line

"THAT'S a cute picture... Mind you he's getting his fucking HEAD shaved..."
-Nik

LOL IT IS! You guys don't belieeeeve me! But oh well. Right now I am fraternizing with a ginger. A GINGER, PEOPLE. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN ASKED HIM IF THE CARPET MTCHES THE DRAPES!! yet...
oh, and I think I was just referred to as a "Giant Freaking Toad." You know you're adorable when.
-Nik

KHANNNNNN!!!!!!!!
-Line

So, a NikandLine first, I interviewed a Ginger.

"So I hear you're a ginger."
*stops talking*
"100% Ginger?"
"Naw... more like strawberry blonde."
"Not what I was referring to..."
*awkward silence*
[BTW:I am the queen Sheba of awkward silences.]
"MAH PUBES ARE ORANGISH"
"OMG REALLY?"
"no, not really."
"aw, damn."
"you'll live."

so through Line I find out...

"You're dating a 20-year-old scene kid? GROW UP."
-Nik

So, I think we've had a pretty good kick at the blogger can tonight, so, on a closing note...

STAY SAFE. THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED ANOTHER YOU.

-NikandLine